Winning at Arguments

How to Win Arguments

Arguing is very hard work.  Scientists have proven that the parts of your brain that handle reasoning goes dormant during an argument.

So how do you actually win one?  Winning arguments can be approached in many ways but what you should be focusing on is influencing your opponent and not proving them wrong.  This is the only viable way to argue.

Before you put up your fists you'll want to make sure you're setting yourself up for success.  It is important to understand that an argument is two-sided and the way you compose yourself will contribute to your overall success.  Here are some tips.

Listen Intently

Reiterate a summary of their arguments from their point of view.  Keep it friendly and show empathy.  Smile and show your genuine concern for their side of the argument.

Give your Argument Validity

Explain the specific details that would be used to produce the outcome you want not just why your idea is better.  Most importantly stay calm.  And take strategic pauses.  This will prove to be more impactful than raising your voice.

Now it's time to come in for the attack.  Try some tactics from 18th century philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer's "38 Ways to Win an Argument."

Use the Extension Technique

Continue to exaggerate your opponent proposition making it sound more general and harder to defend while at the same time keeping your argument narrow and to the point.

Make the argument appear black and white giving your opponent proposition and a clearly negative counter proposition to choose from bringing them to the conclusion that you want.  For example, if you're trying to prove the impact of global warming, you may say something like, "is it not true that there are more cars on the road now than there were 50 years ago?"

Now go forth and argue with confidence.   When in doubt listen to Tim Cook: "I think two people with strong points of view can appreciate each other even more."

There's No Arguement Here

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How to Scientifically Improve your Flirting

The Science Behind Flirting Better

We are genetically programmed to flirt.  It is a basic instinct: if we don't flirt, we don't have sex.  Without sex we cannot reproduce and we are doomed.

There are six points that we can keep in mind to flirt better with women.

1. Eye contact

Eye contact or copulatory Stare is the most important part of flirting.  Keeping good eye contact with your partner makes her feel that you are interested in her.  Just don't turn it into a staring contest and that is annoying.

2. Body Language

When it comes to flirting what you say is not always as important as how you appear when you say it.  One scientific study showed that only 7% of effective flirting was attributable to what we said; 38% was attributable to how we said it; and 55% was attributable to our body language.

The Webster Study of St. Lousi showed that the most effective flirters exhibited what is known as "social dominance".  This happens when we maximize our space by spreading out our arms or stretching out our legs.

3. Touching

There are three levels of touching:
-- Friendly touching like a nudge of the shoulder or a handshake;
-- Plausible deniability which includes a touch of the waist or forearm and;
-- Nuclear threat which could be a touch of the face of your partner.

Naturally, you wouldn't want to touch your partner unless they are open to the idea.

4. Body Langauge Congruence

This happens when the two people involved in flirting begin to adopt the other's posture and body language.  This show a shared harmony and a healthy rapport.

5. Use their Name

People like to hear their name used, and the effective flirter will skillfully use their partner's name.

6. Withdrawal

One of the best flirting techniques is to stop flirting and abruptly, but politely, change the tenor of the conversation  This leaves the other person wanting more.

Following these steps and you will notice a signifigant improvement in your relationship with women.

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Top Five Ideas from Philosophers to Make you Happier and More Successful

Philosophers from ancient times are often discounted as boring and stoic intellectuals. But the philosophers were very interested in the pursuit of things like success and happiness; they merely pursued them in different ways than most.

With a few simple changes in one's perspective and behavior, the philosophers knew that it was possible to attain a lasting form of personal satisfaction. Fortunately for us, their techniques remain highly practical today.

1. What's the Worst that Could Happen?

Asking yourself this question is an excellent way to confront your own personal troubles.  That because considering the worst situation helps to put your current situation into perspective and make it seem less dramatic.

Trying to visualize the negatives, negative visualization; helps to show that your current vision of your problems are exaggerated.

2. The "As If" Principle

William James believed that if you want a quality, act as if you already have it.

When you are angry, try to relax and force yourself to smile and soften your voice. If you act calm you will become calm.  A scientific study of over 20,000 people showed that smiling increased the feeling of respondents reporting to be happy.

As Stanley Gordon West said, "smile and the world smiles with you. "

3. Make it a Treat

The early philosophers honed their self control and courage by practising self denial techniques over long periods.

Denying yourself something keeps you from taking it for granted. Then when you do treat yourself, you will enjoy the treat that much more.

Aside from being a happiness enhancer, self-control is an indicator of a person's strength and capacity for success.

4. Live for Today

The early philosophers believed that worrying about things that were beyond one's control was a waste of one's energy.  On the other hand, finding satisfaction in things that you can reasonably influence lowers anxiety about the past and future.

Living in the present allows more efficient use of one's attention and energy; while increasing one's overall happiness.

5. Its Okay to Falter.

Scientific studies show that criticism of one's self is directly related to lower self-esteem; motivation; and lack of self-control.

On the other hand, higher self-esteem and being supportive leads to higher motivation and strong self control.  Self compassion allows us to learn from our mistakes and this is a good idea since no one is immune to failure.

So when you suffer a personal disappointment, forgive yourself and move on. You will be more happy and more successful for it.

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Top Psychology Tricks To Influence People And Get Them to Do What You Want

Quickly, how do you convince people to help or do a favor for you.  Ask, plead, cajole but in many cases, people are just not interested in helping you out.

But recent studies in the field of psychology have shown that there are want to subtlely influence people to your point of view and do what you ask them.

Here are the top psychology tips and tricks that will help you the next time you need someone's help.

1.  Compliment the Other Person
According to professor Norihito Sadato; complimenting the other person leads to better results.  compliments stimulate a specific part of the brain that builds coherence and confidence in your relationship.

2 .  Repeat Things Back to People
According to Department of Psychology of Uppsala University, repeating things back to people shows that you are listening to them, and agreeing with them.  This builds assurance and determination in your relationship.

3.  Always Request More Than You Really Need

This is based on the time-honored sales negoiting maxim, according to Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
    Step 1- You ask for a lot and probably get denied;
    Step 2- Return later and ask for less than Step 1; and
    Step 3- The other person feels bad that they denied you first; and agrees to give you your second, more reasonable, in their mind, request.

4.   Use People's Names When You Talk to Them

Dale Carnegie was a master at influencing people by using simple techniques.  According to Carnegie, people love hearing their name said out loud.  It makes them feel important.  It also build a stronger bond in your your relationship.

5.   Always Listen First

According to Columbia School of Business, listening is more powerful than talking.  It reinforces your relationship by making the other person think what they have to say is important.  It will help you understand their point of view thoroughly; get information; and builds trust.

6.   People Love Flattery

Dale Carnegie showed that glowing flattery really works;  but it must be sincere and appropriate.  Self-confident people like to be validated.

7.   Ask for Favors When People are Tired
According to research performed by Dr. Roy baumeister and Dr. Brad Bushman;
most people will probabaly put off your favor unitl tommorrow; then they will keep their word.

8.   Make the Favor Their Idea

According to Dale Carnegie, people will agree to help you if they believe that it was their idea or in their best interest to help you.  People do things easily  to help themselves before they will consider help another person.


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